The Blurred Line Between Hipsters and Rednecks

I attended a “white trash bash” with my brother this Independence Day weekend. I had a tough time finding something to wear to the shindig that was white trashy but also didn’t make me look like a complete jerk. In the end,  I wore a red, white and blue western shirt (unbuttoned with no undershirt). However, my decision process led to a revelation.

At this hootenanny, I was supposed to be mocking a particular subculture (rednecks), but I, a guy probably leaning a little toward hipster, already own an article of clothing that allows me to pass freely among them. That’s when it hit me: the line between hipsters and rednecks is getting really blurry.

I know, I know. You don’t believe me. Well, let me prove it to you, hypothetical, skeptical Internet reader.

*A note to my hipster and redneck friends: this post is hyperbolic and sarcastic, don’t take it personally.

Western Shirts

Nowadays, you’re just as likely to see a western shirt in the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn as you are at a rodeo in Texas. Why? I have no clue, but I suspect its roots are in some sort of misplaced sense of irony (remember that word).

Jean Shorts (Jorts)

I guess I should specify by saying cutoff jean shorts. There are plenty of fat teenage nerds stuffing their faces with Combos and retirees trying to use expired coupons rocking jorts.

Cutoff jean shorts are the original redneck bathing suit. Why pay for some high falutin swim trunks that will actually dry out a little when you get out of the water? I mean, I know I like my crotch to be soaked for as long as humanly possible.

Naturally, hipsters like them because they look stupid on just about everybody, just like mustaches and wolf t-shirts. I’m just amazed that a few baristas and Band of Horses fans tricked Gap into actually selling these abominations.

"Like my jorts? Oh, you've never heard of jorts? Not many people have."

Too-Small T-Shirts from 1983

Hipsters love vintage clothes, including ironic (there’s that word again) t-shirts from eras past. They love the idea of vintage so much they’ll pay 10 times the amount the shirt originally cost at Wal-Mart in the 80s. Also, a hipster has never seen an extra-small t-shirt he/she didn’t like.

The difference here is rednecks actually bought the t-shirt at a Wal-Mart or a state fair  in the 80s. They still wear them because Dio still totally rules…or something. Also, when your house is on wheels, it’s hard to call out someone for the beer gut sticking out of the bottom of  his t-shirt. 

The crown jewel of any wardrobe.

Canned Domestic Beer

Rednecks drink Busch, Bud, Coors, etc… because ‘MURICA.

However, hipsters prefer PBR. It’s a beer previously known, along with Old Style and Old Milwaukee, as one of the top choices for older, Midwestern alcoholics.

Hipsters drink it even though a great deal of them come from upper-middle class and upper class families and could easily afford to drink Stella Artois every night.

For some reason, this country has fallen into a prolonged state of sarcasm and irony (I blame the Internet). So hipsters drink PBR because they think drinking the beer of people they perceive as lower class or less intelligent makes some sort of statement. Little do they realize that statement is, “Hey, look, I’m an A-hole.”

Bad Facial Hair

Whether it’s a handle bar mustache, an unkempt beard or Elvis sideburns, it seems like both rednecks and hipsters are out to prove just how stupid facial hair can look.

Annoying Eating Habits

It’s amazing that two groups with such different preferences in food can be equally annoying. It’s possible, though.

First, you have rednecks who consider KFC’s Kentucky Grilled Chicken a healthy meal and dinner at the Cracker Barrel a fancy night out. Also, they’ll probably call you a “fancy boy” if you order a side that doesn’t begin with “french” and end with “fries.” Excuse me, I meant a side that doesn’t begin with “freedom” and end with “fries.”

Then, you have hipsters who, proportionally, are more likely to be a vegetarian or vegan, which means they will condescendingly tell you the human stomach is not meant to digest meat. They’ll also passive aggressively scold you for not eating organic and/or local food. But just let them talk, eventually they’ll run out of energy due to protein deficiency.

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13 thoughts on “The Blurred Line Between Hipsters and Rednecks

  1. Great piece,This is a funny observation, cept how many rednecks know what “hyperbolic” means?

  2. Tori Nelson says:

    As a non-redneck who lives in the South, I can say that you are dead-on. If I ask for unsweetened tea, Shirlene at the Waffle House looks at me like I requested filet mignon.

  3. […] I attended a "white trash bash" with my brother this Independence Day weekend. I had a tough time finding something to wear to the shindig that was white trashy but also didn't make me look like a complete jerk. In the end,  I wore a red, white and blue western shirt (unbuttoned with no undershirt). However, my decision process led to a revelation. At this hootenanny, I was supposed to be mocking a particular subculture (rednecks), but I, a guy p … Read More […]

  4. whoisellencampbell says:


  5. EA says:

    could easily afford to drink Stella Artois

    When I first went to the UK I was surprised by the reputation of Stella Artois. Here in NZ (and clearly in the US, too) it has always been marketed as quite sophistocated – in the UK they call it “wife beater”, its image is so tainted. And it’s really cheap!

  6. tokyo5 says:

    I guess I might be a bit “redneck”. I grew up in the southern U.S. and some of what you describes here “hits home”. 😉

    When I was a kid, I often used “cut-off” as swimwear. I have some old ’80s rock concert T-shirts that I bought at concerts I attend twenty-five or so years ago (and my teenagers like them because they’re “retro”!).
    And I drink canned domestic beer (but I live in Japan…so “domestic” means “Japanese” 😉 ).

  7. slobeachboy says:

    I hate to disagree with you again but those tight t-shirts (and half shirts) were actually a product of the 70’s and were gone by the 80’s, for men anyway. For the 80’s and most of the 90’s a guy biggest fear was that his oversized Tees would shrink in the wash. The shirt had to be long enough to completely cover the crotch area and the sleeves had to go to the elbow. It was not until just before the Millenium that we started seeing tight Tees again on trend setting young college guys (perhaps what you call a hispster) and by 2003 they were pretty much mainstream fashion, at least in California. Now they’ve gotten slightly larger but only Blacks and Latinos still wear the really oversized shirts like from the 80’s these days. Of course there aren’t many rednecks where I live so I cant really comment on what they wear.

  8. Sparkii says:

    Guy, we drink PBS and Old Milwaukee, BECAUSE it’s ‘murica. Pride in our own culture, and a lot of it is crass and down right painful, but it’s US. The same way we have a fondness for massive twirling donuts or enormous milk bottles on top of old dairy factories. It’s ugly, but it’s OUR particular version of ugliness 🙂

  9. Sparkii says:

    Some part has to do with being fed up with white, as in being white, being considered the blandest race to have been born into as a North American. All the white kids wanted to be black when I was growing up. Why? Misplaced sense of guilt. Social engineering having gone horribly wrong. Good intentions having unforeseen negative consequences. Self-loathing induced both by official education and by endless movies, documentaries and tv mini-series. It got out of hand, so maybe we have just decided to tell ourselves, you know what, we’re people too. Let’s hope it remains there, and doesn’t develop into another extreme, which is a very North American tendency.

  10. Max E. says:

    HHAAHAH I just found your blog and read about 13 posts and these are halarious!! Love it!! You are genius!

  11. M. Patterson says:

    Hi, from an OG, as I recall there was no WalMart in the 80’s. K Mart yes, WalMart, no.

  12. Will says:

    Well was it a shindig or a hootinany?

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