Often, time is unkind. Looking back at the past, sometimes it’s hard to believe what was en vogue. This is evident if you ever had the displeasure of sitting through one of VH1’s numerous I Love the ___ shows.
I thought I would take a look back at the decade I grew up in, the 90s, to see what passed as cool, but was most definitely not.
5. Comically Baggy Pants
In the early to mid 90s, other pizza-faced adolescents would have taunted you mercilessly for wearing the slim and straight-leg jeans that are so popular today.
I’m sure others my age remember how cool, for some reason, Jnco Jeans were. They latched on to the baggy concept with a tenacity and enthusiasm that made their product simultaneously successful and absurd. Apparently, teenagers in the 90s took a look at clowns and thought “that’s the look!”
In fact, I recently watched an old skate video from the early 90s (you should too, to get an idea of what I’m talking about) and it looked like everyone was wearing jeans at least four sizes too large.
So there you have it moms and dads of 90s kids, you can officially say “I told you so” now. I only wish I hadn’t been a part of this stupid, stupid trend. (To be clear I didn’t have Jncos, just jeans that were way too baggy)
The 90s was a big decade for that color in between blue and green.
It’s a little known fact that every expansion team in the 90s had to attempt to shoehorn teal or purple into their team colors. For example: the San Jose Sharks, Florida Marlins (which at least actually fits into the local flavor or Miami), Jacksonville Jaguars, etc..
Teal’s PR must have leaned hard on auto manufacturers as well because the 90s was the only decade where a metallic jade paint job was an available option. I would know because my car, a 1995 Chevy, is that ridiculous color.
But, frankly, my opinion is: get off the fence. Pick green or pick blue.
3. Super Sitcommy Sitcoms
I grew up watching Home Improvement, and I still watch it sometimes on Nick at Nite. After watching some other Nick at Nite programming, it became obvious to me that people in the 90s loved terrible sitcoms.
TV executives in the 90s triumphed laugh tracks, tired plots and obvious and usually mediocre jokes. Some networks are still continuing that shameful tradition *cough* CBS *cough* Edgy and innovative sitcoms like Arrested Development or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia never would have aired 15 years ago.
Actually, some of the best TV on the air at the time was on Nickelodeon and was aimed at kids. Shows like Pete and Pete, Clarissa Explains it All and Ren and Stimpy were miles ahead of most of the crap on network TV. Sure, there were a few gems such as Seinfeld and Frasier but for the most part, 90s network TV was full of schlock like Friends.
2. Tribal Tattoos
Tattoos became much more mainstream in the 90s. However, increased unoriginality came with increased acceptance. By the late 90s, every frat guy with a Coors Light habit and access to his parent’s credit card had some sort of tribal armband around his bicep.
It’s a shame that people partially responsible for the increased acceptance of tattoos were the same guys who can’t find Polynesia on a map and think the Maori is an SUV made by Subaru.
Affliction and Tapout have allowed the trend to live on to the present, but there’s no way it will last much longer…I hope.
1. Vanilla Ice
Need I say more: