There are some things that people universally hate paying for, medical bills, cell phone bills, international plane tickets and ransoms for example.
Indeed, it does suck paying for those things (especially ransoms), but I also get irritated when I have to buy certain little things.
It’s not that I’m a tightwad (*high-five if you laughed), but there’s just something that rubs me the wrong way (*double high-five) about buying these things.
It’s not that I don’t like chapstick. I do. The problem is that I pay $1 for a tiny stick of this stuff and within five days it makes its way into my desk or my car. After that, it’s gone, man. The only things I lose more of on average are pens.
Also, has anyone in the history of the world ever finished a tube of Burt’s Bees? The answer is no. No one has ever gotten down to the plastic because chapstick is impossible not to lose.
Just to be clear, I’m considering deodorant, toothpaste, hand soap and mouth wash toiletries.
I think I hate buying these things because I feel like they’re things everyone should just get (socialism!). Everyone should be using these things on a daily basis. I shouldn’t have to pay $3-$4 for a decent stick of deodorant when, really, it benefits everyone around me.
I don’t think buying condiments is necessarily what bothers me; I think it’s the fact that I always forget to buy them. If I run out of ketchup (or catsup for you weirdos), you can bet that I won’t get another bottle for about three weeks.
When I go to the grocery store, I’m looking for things that will provide significant sustenance. Barbecue sauce does not fall under that category.
Also, if I’m only grabbing a few things, and a bottle of mustard is one of them, I always feel like people think I’m a lonely, sad bachelor dipping frozen corn dogs straight into the bottle.
I swear I’m not doing that.
I constantly buy packages of new socks to replace socks I somehow lose doing laundry, but that’s not the part I hate.
The part I hate is that I never seem to have a greater number of socks. My supply of socks seems to stay static despite how many new packages I buy.
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
I have never had a good experience buying stamps. That’s possibly because I seem only to buy them at the post office, even though I know they’re available at other locations.
The line is always ridiculously long, the people in front of me never know what they want or what they’re doing at the post office even though they’ve had 25 minutes standing in line to think about it, the elderly postal worker at the window never hears me correctly the first three times I say I need stamps, and inevitably I have to use a $20 bill to pay for $1.84’s worth of stamps.
Remind me why we still use these things?