Even though it’s an unrealistic, even absurd, notion, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I had my own TV show. I have no idea what it would be like–whether it would be a comedy or drama–but the dream remains. Naturally, I started thinking about what the theme song would be to my hypothetical show.
You see, the theme is an important, but often overlooked, component of a show. It sets the tone and gives the audience a taste of what they’re in for. Some shows opt for a wholly original theme like New Girl, and countless other sitcoms from the 70s, 80s and 90s, while others, like 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation and The Americans, opt for entirely instrumental themes.
I, however, would prefer an honest-to-goodness track from an artist.
“Stupid Kid” – Alkaline Trio
“Stupid Kid” would be perfect for a show kind of like Freaks and Geeks, a comedy with a strong point of view and value on reminiscence. It’s short, fast and almost everyone can relate to it.
“Trouble in River City” – The Ergs
I want this to be a theme song strictly because its brevity will allow it to be heard in full.
“Fix My Brain” – The Marked Men
Whadya know? Another punk song! Anyway, I see this as an update to Weird Science, well, a better update…
“Bad Thing” – King Tuff
I think this show would follow a schlubby, yet earnest, dude who can’t help but be a jackass–only it would have a wink-and-nod tone to it, acknowledging that’s basically every sitcom dad ever.
“Remember Me” – British Sea Power
I picture this as a sort of witty British comedy that Hollywood would try to remake on American TV to dismal results.
“Portland” – Middle Brother
I think this would be a darker comedy–maybe something on FX or AMC.
“Oregon Girl” – Someone Still Love You Boris Yeltsin
This should be the new theme to New Girl, since it’s noted throughout the show that Jess is from Oregon.
“How to Fight Lonliness” – Wilco
Loneliness is right there in the title! It would be perfect for this current wave of shows focusing on anti-heroes. I think this would be something contemplative and engrossing like True Detective.
“Simple Things” – Belle and Sebastian
This is catchy but also moody. It could lead into something with a mystery at the center of the show with a little dark humor. Something like Fargo.
“Bottle of Buckie” – Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
As much as I’d like to think differently, this would probably be used for a show on the CW.
“Only for You” – The Heartless Bastards
This show would focus on a lone-wolf protagonist (so fresh!), who is haunted by his/her spouse’s death.
“Mud Hill” – Samiam
I’m not quite sure what this show would be about–probably something involving teens in the 90s.
“Hot Bed” – The Whigs
This would be a Rescue Me knock off.
There you have it! Get at me Hollywood!